Prepared For Trouble?
by 27dayz
Summary: Here's a selection of mottos from everyone's favourite villains...mottos that you probably won't hear on the show, mostly due to the fact that they have a new, not-so improved motto. Anyhow, enjoy.
1. Introduction

**Prepared For Trouble?**

**Introduction**

Prepare for trouble!

Make it double!

To protect readers from devastation!

To unite all peoples with 27dayz's creations!

To recite many mottos that you WILL review and love!

To remind you all that Pokemon is owned by the powers above!

Jessie!

James!

Team Rocket, reciting mottos at the speed of light!

Read and Review now, 'cause these rhymes are tight!

Meowth! Dat's right!

So, if you didn't get it from the motto above, I do not own Pokemon, nor the rights to Team Rocket's epic motto, and it'd be nice to get some feedback. I was watching Pokemon with my little cousin and was appalled with what they've done to the Team Rocket I grew up watching. My cousin looked at me funny when I recited Team Rocket's original motto to him. Then I got to thinking about all the times where they've made changes to their old motto to fit the situation so I decided to try a few of my own. Please review and feel free to give me any ideas for topics.


	2. The Swinub Flu

**The Swinub Flu**

Prepare for sniffling and sneezing

Don't forget coughing and wheezing

To protect the world from a flu caused by a pig

To vaccinate all peoples against an epidemic this big

To denounce the evils of the dreaded Swinub flu

To extend our brains to find a clue

Jessie

James

Team Rocket stands against the flu and people who makes jokes!

Get vaccinated, or you be among the people who croaks!

Meowth, are youse guys sure dis ain't a hoax?

//

That's right...a swine flu parody...Extra credit to whoever notices a reference to two former TR Pokemon ;)


	3. Team Rocket's Character Woes

**Team Rocket's character woes**

Prepare for an explanation to our trouble

Make it quick, on the double

To protect ourselves from character defamation

To unite all peoples against weird animation

To denounce the secret of our lost charm and flair

To explain why Jessie has purple hair

Jessie, saying that my hair is RED!!!

James, hoping they don't mess with the hair on my head!

Team Rocket misses the old animators every night and day!

We haven't been the same since they sent our voice actors away!

Meowth, is not a fan of dat P-USA!

//

Well, thanks for the reviews, and if anyone from PUSA is reading this, that is my opinion and not a jibe at your company. This is merely a parody meant to poke fun at the changes the show has undergone. I do not own Pokemon in any way, shape, or form, as stated in the introduction. I'm just having fun here.

Thanks to jazzykid1 for the idea for this parody.

Oh, and to Adanna, the pokemon reference in the previous parody was when James says: Don't forget coughing and wheezing.

Koffing was James's only Pokemon at the beginning of the series until it evolved into Weezing in the episode 'Dig Those Diglett'. James released his Weezing at the beginning of Pokemon: Advanced (the season where Ash went to Hoenn) in the episode 'A Poached Ego'. It's a shame too. That was the best Pokemon he had ever or will ever have.


	4. A Little Healthy Twerp Bashing

**A Little Healthy Twerp Bashing**

Prepare for trouble, we're talkin' to you!

Make it double, we want to take your Pikachu!

To protect the world from Ash Ketchum's lack of brains!

To unite all peoples against Brock's love pains!

To denounce the annoyingness that is Max and May!

To extend the idea that Dawn should go and stay away!

Jessie

James

Team Rocket, bad-mouthing the twerps who make us crash!

Don't forget the scrawny red-head who crushes on Ash!

Meowth, dis is a twerp-bash!

//

What can I say, the do-gooders annoy me…a lot, lol. Particularly the new ones.


	5. A Botched Motto

**A Botched Motto**

She'd better prepare for trouble!

And he can make it double!

To protect the world from that snott-nosed brat!

To unite all peoples against that green-haired prat!

To convice the Boss that hiring her was a bad choice!

To tell all of my hate for his frog-voice!

Jessie RULES!

James IS COOL!

Our Team despises those copy-cats so much!

The Boss loves them, but we hate Cassidy and Hutch!

Meowth agrees and such.

Butch: It's BUTCH! Get it right!

Jessie: Take it easy, Biff.

Butch: IT'S BUTCH!

James: Calme down, Botch.

Butch: THE NAME IS BUTCH!

Meowth: Dis Bill guy sure over reacts.

Butch: IT'S BUTCH!!! BUTCH, I TELL YOU, YOU INCOMPETANT TWITS!!!!!!!

Cassidy (places a consoling arm on Butch's shoulder): Come on, Babe, let's get you to the courthouse so you can change your name.

Butch: IT'S BUUUTTCCCHHHH!!! YOU'RE AS BAD AS THEM!

Cassidy (smacks the back of his head): It's a term of endearment, you moron!

Meowth and James: Those two are a couple? YUK!

Jessie (hardly surprised): Please. She'd go for anything she could get her hands on.

Cassidy: Aw, Jessie-Jess, don't be jealous because all you can get is_ James._

Jessie: Oh yeah? I'd take James high over Butcher anyday!

Butch: THE NAME IS BUTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

//

Well, thought I'd write about how Jessie and James really feel about their Rocket Rivals...and take on the classic Botch joke.


	6. It's Hard Work To Catch 'Em All

**It's Hard Work To Catch 'Em All**

Catching Pokemon is a lot of trouble

Especially when their numbers are double

To catch 'em all is a tribulation

If you do, I'll give you an ovation

To denounce the evils of adding more pokemon to games

Kudos to you if you can remember all the names

Jessie

James

Team Rocket, missing the days when there were only a manageable few.

Just one hundred and fifty, plus Mew.

Meowth, stop complaining and let's get dat Pikachu!

James: But there's sooo many! Eevee, Vaporeon, Flareon, Umbreon, Jolteon, Espeon, Glaceon, Leafeon…and those are just the Eevee evolutions!

Jessie: Not to mention Steelix and Politoed and Scizor and Slowking, and all those other ridiculous special evolutions! You can only use items like the metal coat and the King's Rock once, so how the heck are you supposed to evolve all those pokemon?

James: Yeah, and it was hard enough to get all the coins for a Porygon, but now they've added Porygon2!

Jessie: And now there are all of these weird pokemon that look like beavers and penguins.

James: Don't forget all of those pre-evolved forms! Smoochum, Magby, Togepi, and Pichu and all the other baby Pokemon!

Jessie: Or some pokemon that only appear on certain days or at certain times of the day!

Jessie and James (crying and hugging each other): THERE'S SO MANY!

Meowth: Lazy humans. Dere's not dat many pokemon!

Jessie and James (scream at him): THERE'S 493!

Meowth looks at them for a moment before he too bursts into tears.

//

Sorry about the delay. I wrote this down, but due to a pesky thing called school, I couldn't get it up before now.


	7. Jessie and James Defend Their Sexuality

**Jessie and James Defend Their Sexuality**

Prepare for trouble

Make it double

To protect the world from gender-stereotyping

To introduce all peoples to the art of cross-dressing

To assure James that it's okay to dress as a lady

To give Jess my clothes to pull off something shady

Jessie

James

Team Rocket thinks cross-dressing is A-O-K

Just because we do it, doesn't mean we're gay!

Meowth, I'll never look at youse guys the same way!

//

Umm…do I need to comment on why I wrote this one?


	8. Frolicking Before the Pokemon Tech Exams

**Frolicking before the Pokemon Tech Exam**

Prepare for a flashback to our Pokemon Tech days

Ah, those were great times in so many ways

We were protecting ourselves from boredom and books

But we failed and united to be crooks

We danced and drank all night

It may have been bad, but it felt so right

Jessie failed to pass

James should have paid attention in class

Team Rocket, remembering the hangovers and the failed test

We bombed the exam, but at least I got to feel up your chest

Meowth, now dat I know dat story, it's never gonna rest!

Jessie: James!!!!!!

James: Uhhh…whoops, I mean, uh…ah…

///

Well, now you know why Jessie and James failed that exam. They had honestly tried…things just got…in the way.

So, I've increased the rating to include some more mature rhymes. Let's face it, TR mottos are funner (yes, I'm aware it's not a word, but it should be) when your mind is in the gutter.


	9. TR's Public Service Announcement

**Team Rocket's Public Service Announcement**

Prepare for trouble

Make it double

To protect the world from unplanned pregnancy

To safely unite bodies in urgency

To denounce the evils of AIDS and Herpes

To ensure no more accidents like you twerpies

Jessie

James

Team Rocket, making sure condoms are used day and night

Make sure they don't break, or you could be in for a fright

Meowth, Dat's right!

(Team Rocket throws condom packages at the twerps before Pikachu sends them flying with a well-aimed thunderbolt. Brock pockets the majority of them, even though he's probably never going to get a chance to use them due to Misty, Max, and Crogunk dragging him away from any potential love interest. Keep tryin', Brock-o!)

//

AN: Out of all of the parodies I've done, this is probably my favourite. What could be better than Team Rocket teaching sex-ed? Besides, it wasn't easy finding something to rhyme with pregnancy and herpes.

Oh, and let it be said, I love Brock and I've always felt sorry for him when he doesn't get the girl.


	10. A Hurtful Subject

**A Hurtful Subject**

Prepare for trouble

Don't make it double

To protect my nerves from annoying pests

To learning to duck away from Jessie's fists

To legalize the use of a paper fan and a mallet

If they do, I'm gonna hide behind the kid from Pallet

Jessie

James

Team Rocket will smash you into the ground!

If she keeps this up, I'm not stickin' around!

Meowth, wait for me, Jimmy!

//

AN: There's an image that makes me chuckle. James hiding behind Ash as Jessie and Misty advance with their weapons of choice. If this image makes you chuckle, please submit a review.


	11. Team Rocket Just Say 'No'

**Jessie and James Just Say 'No'**

Prepare for trouble

And this kind is double

To protect our young fans from devastation

To unite all peoples against pot inhalation

To denounce the evils of weed and coke

To prevent your minds from becoming like Slowpoke

Jessie

James

Team Rocket just says 'no'

Surrender now, or we'll win cuz you're on the blow

Meowth, don't be slow

/

AN: So as you can see, Team Rocket just say no, which plays along with my theme of having Team Rocket teach a health class. Seriously, wouldn't they make awesome teachers? I think so.


	12. Pokemon vs Digimon

**Pokemon vs. Digimon**

Prepare for a heated debate!

Even though both shows are great

To hating the copycats of Satoshi Tajiri's creation!

But Pokemon and Digimon both come from the same great nation.

To denounce the evils of those digi-fools!

Even though digivolving is super-cool

James, you're supposed to be on MY side!

Jessie, why can't you open your eyes?

Team Rocket thinks that Digimon is LAME!

If you think they're alike, you have half-a-brain!

Who cares? Meowth sure likes dat Gatomon dame!

Jessie: What the hell was that?

James: If you just sat down and watched Digimon, you would see that it is NOTHING like Pokemon.

Jessie: I don't need to watch it to know that its copying our perfect show.

James: No, it's not! The kids don't trap their partners in balls, and Digimon aren't stuck in the same form after they evolve, and characters actually age, and the bad guys are a helluva lot more evil than we are and-

Jessie: If you like it so much, go join THAT show, TRAITOR!

James: Who are you calling a traitor?

(The two Rockets glare at each other before turning their back to one another)

Meowth: (lays on the ground and drools over a picture of Gatomon, completely oblivious to Jessie and James' fight)

/

**AN:** A special thank you to lilpurplebird for giving me the suggestion to take on the infamous 'Digimon is Pokemon' debate. I had totally forgot it existed because it was so long ago, but it actually gave me a new idea for these mottos.

So, as you can see, Jessie is very anti-digimon, which sort of reflects how I acted in the very beginning. Before I actually sat down and watched Digimon, I often spouted off my ignorant attitudes about how Digimon sucked because it copied Pokemon.

James, on the other hand, is just like 'can't we all just get along?', and more reflects the way I am now. After I watched Digimon, I became aware of just how wrong I was. Digimon was nothing like Pokemon and I ended up falling in love with both shows.

And Meowth…well…let's face it, he's a little horn-dog who always wants what he can't have…even though I always end up feeling sorry for the little dude. He's like a smaller, fuzzier, cuter version of Brock that also loses at love. I'm rooting for him!


	13. The Bicker The Better

**The Bicker The Better**

Prepare for trouble, you blue-haired bigmouth!

Make it double, this friendship has gone south!

To protect my head from your whining voice!

I'd have walked out long ago if I had the choice!

To denounce the annoyance that is James!

To extend my view that Jessie is lame!

Jessie

James

Why I outta make you blast off at the speed of light!

OH YEAH? Well at least I'm not ugly!

Jessie: WHAT DID YOU SAY!

James (singing): Ugly, ugly, ugly, Jessie is so ugly! Ugly, ugly, ugly…

Jessie (covers her ears and starts singing): LALALALA!

Meowth (covers his ears): NOT AGAIN!

Meowth and Jessie and James's pokemon high-tail it out of there, leaving Jessie and James to argue.

00000000000000000000000000

AN: So, for the first time in this fic, I am going to shoot for continuity. Last time, Jessie and James got into a bit of an argument about Pokemon vs. Digimon. In this instalment, they continue arguing and name calling Bicker-the-Better style (if you don't get the reference, go on youtube and search for the pokemon advanced episode called 'The Bicker the Better.' Trust me, it will not disappoint). Will J and J ever make up? And will Meowth and the other pokemon ever return?


End file.
